122 Rules by Deek Rhew

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Don't Tell Erin, But Someone Picked Up Deek! Warning: This blog contains many graphics!

My name is Deek Rhew and this is my story.

I was minding my own business, just meandering down the sidewalk next to the busy boulevard. As I waited for the light at the corner of Third and Vine, a black sedan with dark tinted windows and vanity plates that read PckrUpr slid in next to the curb in front of me. With a mild hum of electronics, the glass of the rear door gracefully retreated into the metal hull of the automobile.

The inky interior of the vehicle revealed little detail of its occupants. I leaned in closer, hoping to get a better view. A sunglasses-clad face with frizzy black and white hair materialized before me. Since the face's eyes were covered and bore all the expression of seasoned poker player, I could not determine whether the stranger's intentions were malicious or friendly.

The invader of my pleasant and heretofore uneventful afternoon studied me from behind the black lenses. I didn't flinch, returning the other's gaze. The classic showdown at high noon, we each bided our time, waiting for the other to make the first move.

A fur-clad hand slinked up and, with a practiced flick popped the Ray Bans down a long, shapely nose, revealed eyes as black as onyx. In a lilting Texas accent a husky, alto voice said, "Howdy, stranger. Going my way?"

I didn't answer right away but instead regarded my propositioner.

Not waiting for a reply, the door clicked open, and the stranger slid to the far side of the back seat. With a coquettish smile, she patted the seat.

I hesitated for a heartbeat then slid in, closing the door with a snick behind me.

With a mild screech of tires, the driver pulled away from the curb. As we mingled with the heavy traffic, the stranger extended her paw, "I'm Zara. That," she indicated to the driver, "is Allan."

Two black ears held the signature cap in place as the driver grunted and raised a furry paw in way of greeting.

"Mr. Rhew, we have much to discuss."

"You know me?" I asked, a bit taken aback.

"Oh, yes. I've been following you for some time. Are you ready to have some fun?" Zara had a twinkle in her eye and a sly smile on her lips.

Suddenly, I knew I had made the right decision, and I returned the expression. It occurred to me that for the first time in my life I had willingly allowed myself to be picked up, and by a Panda of all people.

Allan navigated the heavy car down the busy street, dodging cabbies and running reds, as we continued our conversation deep into the twilight of the evening.

So now you know the story of how I got picked up by a Panda....okay, maybe that isn't exactly how it went down, but I'm not so great at remembering the deets. What is truth and what is fiction? Well, the truth is that I did, in fact, get picked up. And that, ladies and germs, is my BIG announcement. After three years of work, my book, 122 Rules, got picked up by Pandamoon Publishing!

To celebrate, my wife, Erin Rhew (a brilliant writer in her own right--shameless plug: get her books, The Prophecy and The Outlanders now on Amazon!), and I went on a mission to find all the panda pics in town. Come join us in our Pandamoneum!

Erin and I and an itty bitty panda

Jay, a little 'tude, and a little panda

Cray panda pics!

More cray panda pics!

Ahhhhhhh panda pics everywhere!
Easily the best looking panda ever
Erin and the latest in panda wear

James Belushi panda moment

The little panda actually looks a bit frightened
There there, don't be scared of the lunatic

What you talkin' 'bout panda?


Our writing assistant, Trinity, is highly annoyed the publishing company isn't called Cat Moon

Lookin' totally Portland with my panda wear

Channel your inner panda, Erin
Channel your inner panda, Deek

Lookin' too cool for school, Erin created me a Gangsta Panda!

I am beyond happy to be joining the Pandamoon family. Zara and Allan and all the rest of the pandas have been super supportive and fun, and I'm looking forward to going on this journey with such a great company.

Now I need to take a moment and send a message to my wife. Erin has been my biggest supporter and #1 fan. She has spent countless hours editing and reviewing my book and listening to me droll on about this or that in relation to my writing. There is zero chance 122 Rules would have made it as far as it has without her.

Erin, you can try all you want to give me all the credit, but, my love, without you I wouldn't have made it. You are the inspiration to my perspiration. You are my Ideal Reader, the one I write to. You are the love of my life. Thank you for everything you do, all you've sacrificed, and your unconditional love. You are the person I strive to be like--though I fall short. It is with you that I find the true source of my happiness.

Thanks to all my peeps! Keep watching as this saga unfolds. Without a doubt, it will be quite entertaining.


Thursday, November 13, 2014

Oh, What a Weekend!

OMH! Where to begin? So much has happened since my last post. Erin and I have been on a ton of adventures since Friday. We've met new people, battled salsa dancers, and dodged drunks in the dark streets of the city. We've eaten cold nachos and donuts at 1 in the morning, dined at the White House, and gotten massages and tattoos....and that was just the weekend!

Okay, so I'll start at the beginning with the best news ever...Erin and I got MARRIED on Friday!!! Woop! I am easily the luckiest man in the world. This lady makes me uber happy!!

We have only gotten a few of the pictures back from our photographer, Adriel Henderson, but this is one of my favs:

Erin and I on our wedding night
Our 1895 Victorian home has two carriage houses. Originally we had thought we'd get married in the larger of the two, but in the end we opted to to have the ceremony in our living room.

Risking all sortsa bad luck stigmas, a week before the ceremony, we dressed in our finest and spent a happy afternoon posing and primping for our shutterbug.

Erin and I looking very southern and proper

Okay, so that is all we have of our formal wedding pics so far. More are being processed and we shall post a blog (or two!) with the pics. So, on to our honeymoon adventures!

The where! We stayed at the White House.

This place was all kindsa beautiful!
The White House on the first night we arrived

Oh this little place? It's our country villa. We come here to get away from it all.

On the grand staircase. Sort of reminds of the one from Titanic

The formal living room

Erin plays me a little diddy on the baby grand

Our dining hall

Erin lording over her minions from the head of the table

Tried the iPhone's panoramic feature. It kinda looks like it's in an aquarium

On Saturday we got a couple's massage--totally recommend!!--from a VERY zen, VERY Portland couple, then we hit the big city. Here are some image from our fun.

My beautiful bride gazing out our hotel window

First time we went out to eat as a married couple. Burgers and fake orange cheese nachos!

Stopped in at Saturday Market and had our picture drawn. Something we had each wanted to do forevs!

The city is already decked out in Christmas lights. Just gorgeous!

Erin channels her inner warrior next to some interesting "art."

LOL! #GeekHumor

I don't believe any words are necessary

The king lives!

Found this awesome Mr. Rodgers sweater at a second-hand store. Sadly, I did not get it.

Peace out, dude!

Looking more gangsta than chill

Channel your inner panda

And me!

Yep, looking all George Castanza on my lounge chair in World Market


No trip to the city is complete without a trip to the book store

Visiting China Town

The people here are caaa-ray!

Dinner time!

Yep, I'm gonna paste these suckers to my thighs for all time!

Did anyone get the number of that day in the city that hit us?

So the big news from the next day was we got inked! We'd been planning it for a while, so as a wedding gift to ourselves we went to Adorned for a little tattoo action.

Erin braving her way through the procedure

My bad ass lady with her new ink stain

Me with my ink stain

The family that inks together...

Afterwards we had to get bandaged up. Here we are looking all super-hero-like...ready to fight crime!

It has been an amazing adventure with my lady. Though we are really both just regular homebodies--something that I just love about us--we still manage to have fun. Erin is my best friend and I am beyond lucky that I get to spend the rest of my life with her.

In the end, it is just Erin and I, hand-in-hand

So, win or lose, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, we are partners. I am so lucky that she is gracing my life by joining hers to mine.

Check out Erin's pictorial of our our weekend!

Until later, my friends, cheers!