122 Rules by Deek Rhew

Saturday, February 7, 2015

The Superbowl, The Everybody Pays 10% Plan, and Seattle: Deek's Attempt to Procrastinate Doing Taxes

So, I've always thought I'm a little off my rocker, off my game, but mostly I've only been off my blog as of late. This is a good thing and a bad thing. It feels like there are million things vying for my attention and, woops!, a month or more goes by and no blog post.

So today, I'm going to do a little catch up. Maybe this is just a way of procrastinating our next task: taxes. Ugh. I HATE taxes. For all you out there that are CPAs, tax preparers, and book keepers, I am thankful that y'all are out there doing your thang because your job would be my idea of hell on Earth. Sorry!

Anyway, so yeah, Erin and I have to work on our taxes this afternoon. Sigh, sometimes it is a real pain to be responsible. I'm still hoping that my Everybody-Pays-10% plan catches on. Then we can do away with all this bloody paperwork. Here is the form you would have to fill out by April 15th every year:

IRS Form -- Uber Simple and Makes Sense 10% Plan 1.0

How much did you make?
x 0.10                         <----Multiply by 0.10
_________________ <----Total owed for the year

_________________ <----Subtract how much you paid

_________________ <----If this amount is negative, you have a refund coming. Go you!
                                           If this amount is positive, please write a check and send it to the IRS, who
                                           thanks you and plans to spend most of it on Pay-Per-View and Green
                                           Lantern comic books.

Thank you for your patronage and participation in the USA government tax plan. Your cooperation is highly encouraged, but if not we're happy to just bust in while you're sleeping and haul you off like a bag of trash on garbage day.

Your friends at the IRS,

There you are that's all there is to it. No bazillion forms and oddities like use box A, subsection B, to tell us the market value of aunt Trudy's gallbladder when she had it out. Use for 1098.883434 GBR (Gall Bladder Removal) to depreciate (or is it deprecate? Ha-ha, we here in the wild and crazy IRS are not exactly grammar wizards. Ha-ha!) it to estimate how much value is left after aunt Trudy (selfishly) used it.

NOTE: Use form 1099.8888 Gall Bladder Used Without Explicit Consent of the IRS to calculate fines assessed.

Sure, with just the one form system, a few government employees will lose their jobs, but ask yourself this: Has there ever been a day in your life when you wished for MORE IRS agents? Ever?

Okay, I'm a little side-tracked. I can blame ADD, but, again, I'm just procrastinating...and griping. And taking cheap pot shots at the wonderful institution that collects funds from us and uses them randomly on things no sane person would ever spend their money on.

Tax funded study of the mating habits of the African hermit crab? Do they feel love? Do they take their shells off before they...uh hum, do "it?" These questions must be answered and by gosh, we're gonna use your money to pay for it!

Sorry, distracted again.

Okay, moving on. A couple of nights ago, Erin and I spent a couple of hours brainstorming the sequel to 122 Rules. I was getting lost in the hodgepodge and needed to work it out. Fortunately for me, my lady is brilliant and an amazing author, so she helped me sort through the jumble in my head. So, this morning I put quill to paper on 122 Redemption.

Note to Erin: Thank you, my love. You saved me again!

Speaking of 122, while we were in Seattle a couple of weeks ago, we saw massive support for the Seahawks -- this was the week before they lost to New England--and they apparently also are huge Sam Bradford (the main character in 122 Rules) fans! Wut? Wut? Yep. It's totally true. I have photographic evidence!
Sam! Obviously they mean Bradford!

Seattle, by the way, was just awesome. Erin and I rode the train--Ride the trai-ain-ain! Ride the train!--and it was comfortable and relaxing. Highly HIGHLY recommend it!

Here are a some pics from our ride!
Puget Sound from the train

Puget Sound from the train

More views of the Sound from the train

The station in Seattle

Erin and I at the infamous Bubble Gum Wall near Pike's Place
Erin and I with full-on Soap Opera mode

Erin and I in our Wut? Wut?
Erin wrote and amazing post about it on her blog.

Let's see, in addition to this, we watched the Super Bowl and, sadly, the Seahawks did not quite pull off a win. Sigh. But we had great food, friends, and fun. Read about it on my lady's blog.

Plus there were some just awesome commercials.  I'll wrap this rather random blog post--did I mention I'm procrastinating working on taxes?--with one of my fav ads from the game.

Until next time!


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